Ebook Men Explain Things to Me

Ebook Men Explain Things to Me

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Men Explain Things to Me

Ebook Men Explain Things to Me

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Audible Audiobook

Listening Length: 2 hours and 47 minutes

Program Type: Audiobook

Version: Unabridged

Publisher: Audible Studios

Audible.com Release Date: August 27, 2014

Language: English, English

ASIN: B00N30J5FA

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

(Trigger warning for violence, including rape and domestic violence.)When I first heard of MEN EXPLAIN THINGS TO ME, I giddily mistook it for an extended essay on mansplaining. Alas, it’s actually a collection of nine previously published essays, kicked off by the book’s namesake, “Men Explain Things to Me” (which inspired the term “mansplaining,” though Solnit didn’t herself coin it; mainsplaining, of course, eventually led to whitesplaining and Damonsplaining). Any disappointment I might have initially felt was quickly assuaged by the general awesomeness of Solnit’s other pieces.Nearly all of the essays are loosely organized around women’s rights and feminism; deconstructing and dismantling the patriarchy, if you will. Solnit masterfully examines and connects myriad topics: rape culture; the epidemic of violence against women; the very real threat that “gay marriage” poses to the unequal power dynamics inherent in traditional marriage; how Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s (“alleged”) assault of Nafissatou Diallo could be read as a microcosm of the IMF’s predatory abuse of power; the disappearing of women from history, from genealogy, from public conversations and places; the voluntary policing of women that so many men (and not a few women) eagerly engage in; and the power of language to name, shame, and effect change. Especially timely (sadly, as always) is her discussion of toxic masculinity and mass shootings, in reference to the 2014 Isla Vista killings.The only piece I didn’t really care for was “Woolf’s Darkness: Embracing the Explicable,” which is rather dense and feels out of step with its neighbors; unlike the essays, which were originally written for online news sites, “Woolf’s Darkness” was adapted from a keynote lecture to the binational Nineteenth Annual Conference on Virginia Woolf.Also a tad disappointing is Solnit’s decision not to reprint the essays with the original references and footnotes attached. Instead, she directs the reader to find the original, unedited, online versions of the essays (and doesn’t give direct links to 8/9, ugh). Imho, user convenience always trumps aesthetics (at least when it comes to books, and nonfiction ones especially), and having to hop online to search out references is not terribly user-friendly. Not that the inclusion of such would stop the mouth-breathers from huffing and puffing, but still.All in all, MEN EXPLAIN THINGS TO ME is an insightful and enjoyable (if too-small!) collection of essays that’s well worth a read. 4/5 stars, although most of the individual pieces scored a 5/5 with me.And, because this is a much shorter review than I’m accustomed to writing, here are a few choice quotes from MEN EXPLAIN THINGS TO ME. (I had already compiled them for the 2015 Book Memories Challenge, so why not?)We have far more than eighty-seven thousand rapes in this country every year, but each of them is invariably portrayed as an isolated incident. We have dots so close they’re splatters melting into a stain, but hardly anyone connects them, or names that stain. In India they did. They said that this is a civil rights issues, it’s a human rights issue, it’s everyone’s problem, it’s not isolated, and it’s never going to be acceptable again. It has to change. It’s your job to change it, and mine, and ours.(“The Longest War”)Language is power. When you turn “torture” into “enhanced interrogation,” or murdered children into “collateral damage,” you break the power of language to convey meaning, to make us see, feel, and care. But it works both ways. You can use the power of words to bury meaning or to excavate it. If you lack words for a phenomenon, and emotion, a situation, you can’t talk about it, which means that you can’t come together to address it, let alone change it.(“#YesAllWomen: Feminists Rewrite the Story”)Six years ago, when I sat down and wrote the essay “Men Explain Things to Me,” here’s what surprised me: though I began with a ridiculous example of being patronized by a man, I ended with rapes and murders. We tend to treat violence and the abuse of power as though they fit into airtight categories: harassment, intimidation, threat, battery, rape, murder. But I realize now that what I was saying is: it’s a slippery slope. That’s why we need to address that slope, rather than compartmentalizing the varieties of misogyny and dealing with each separately. Doing so has meant fragmenting the picture, seeing the parts, not the whole.(“#YesAllWomen: Feminists Rewrite the Story”)What doesn’t go back in the jar or the box are ideas. And revolutions are, most of all, made up of ideas.(“Pandora’s Box and the Volunteer Police Force”)Here’s the box Pandora held and the bottles the genies were released from; they look like prisons and coffins now.(“Pandora’s Box and the Volunteer Police Force”)

I bought this book for my brother-in-law shortly after my sister gave birth to a daughter. I thought it would be a fun “Hey, you have a daughter, this might be a good thing to start thinking about”-type gift. And so he didn’t feel totally alone while reading it, I bought myself a copy as well.Solnit is clearly a powerful mind and talented writer. Her prose is strong and forceful, and she writes with stirring— at times contagious—- conviction. The book’s most powerful essays (“Men Explain Things To Me” and “#YesAllWomen”) are intelligent, clear-sighted looks at a massive, difficult, dangerous topic. It’s saddens me to applaud Solnit for her courage in writing this, if only because that acknowledges the typical backlash against women who speak out against misogyny, but she IS courageous and that alone warrants commendation.The book starts out with a funny, almost playful anecdote about being mansplained to by a pompous idiot at a party in Aspen, but then quickly moves into darker waters. Solnit goes on to use politics, art, history and new media as springboards for discussing the interconnectedness of cultural misogyny and how mansplaining and rape can be viewed as existing on a continuum. Towards the end of the book she summarizes this nicely: “It’s a slippery slope. That’s why we need to address the slope, rather than compartmentalizing the varieties of misogyny and dealing with them separately.” (p. 134) It’s a new way of looking at an ancient problem, articulated in a way that I don’t think I’ve heard before, and Solnit rounds out her case by anticipating counter arguments (i.e. men being falsely imprisoned for rape) and responding to them to the degree that they deserve.So here’s the part where I complain: While her arguments are culturally important and her writing is strong, Solnit’s rhetoric seems, at times, deliberately hyperbolic and meant to divide readers. On pg. 57 she describes the case of Ariel Castro, a man accused of imprisoning, torturing and sexually abusing three women as being “a vicious version of the traditional [marriage] arrangement.” Later on in the book (p. 153) she takes a similar swipe at capitalism: “There’s more that we need to be liberated from… a system that serves environmental destruction and limitless consumption…” And beyond that there’s a general celebration of revolution, (non-violent) anarchy, as well as Solnit’s insistence that this is, indeed, “a war.” In other words, if you’re traditional / conservative / old-fashioned, then chances are you’re probably going to feel pretty alienated while reading this, if not all out attacked. I don’t consider myself conservative, but there were still times when I felt myself getting defensive. With that said, I was less annoyed with this on ideological terms than I was by what felt like a tactical mis-step. Simply put: This is a wise book. This is an important book. A lot of people should be reading it and absorbing it's message. And I could suddenly feel thousands of readers— good people who’s minds are ready to be expanded— fleeing from it’s very positive message, because they were being lumped in with rapists and murderers. I was frustrated because I felt like the book was preaching to the choir and, in-so-doing, entrenching conservatives deeper into their current belief systems.One could argue that this book isn't intended to convert and so it's unfair to judge it by those standards; that it’s a celebration and reminder of what’s already been accomplished in the fight for gender equality, and that now it’s up to someone else to write the gentler, more palatable book that eases The Other Side into progressive thinking. And you know what— that may very well be the case. In the meantime, I encourage conservative thinkers who are interested in reading this to do so with an open mind instead of just looking for things to disagree with. Because the fact of the matter is that the vast majority of what’s discussed in this book really has nothing to do with superficial left / right politics and everything to do with how we want our nieces/daughters to be treated as they grow up in the world. And that feels like something we can all agree on.

Written to the point and to the heart of the matter. Don't explain things to me that I understand better than you and don't tell me to smile. These seem like small things, but follow the thread. They are significant parts of a much larger picture. I have said these words for YEARS and it's nice to read someone else's thoughts that echo my own. Highly recommended reading for young women who weren't around when this fight began. Perspective is everything in finding our path forward.

I grew up in the 50's and so have lived through the last 60 years of the ongoing struggle for equality, equal rights and equal pay--and the every day ongoing struggle simply to be treated as a human being with free will. And, of course, beyond the equality issue, there's always the inherent danger involved simply because you are born female. I was continually warned and told what I could do, what I could wear and where I could go. I lived in a 3rd World country as an adolescent, and believe me, we young women paid attention to the advice to "dress like a lady" "don't go out after dark alone" "don't meet anyone's eyes" etc. etc. Being female, for much of my life, has been been like having, through no fault of my own, a target painted on my back. Long story short, this book connects a whole lot of dots, with a clear-eyed glance through history and from there into the realities of the present, where not much below the surface gloss has changed. Everyone with a HS or college age girl -- or boy, for that matter - should purchase a copy of this fierce, beautifully written, TRUE book and then preach on the text. In 149 pages, Ms. Solnit turns my gaze toward a better, more honest future in which both sexes can claim power and respect.

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